I am most happy to report I do not play this game any more. After careful study of myself, and study and research on others, and working my private practice I am seeing the whole situation in a different light. It is true that in my Ph.D. studies the medical arena looks for "core" issues to resolve problems in order to move into a healthier state of mind. I think there is some merit to these works but I also think the answer is not always to discover what has been done to you in the past in order to move through it. Perhaps the answer as well as the resolution lies in your own mind.

Each individual has the choice to choose how he or she thinks. Our mind can create a problem or let it go. We are often looking to the outside of ourselves to blame the problem on. Why not look within. Perhaps an addiction or a problem is an escape from your reality. Perhaps it is a way to avoid a fear or pain. There is something to the saying, "what ye think so ye shall be." Change your mind change your world (Power Thoughts!).

If in your mind you are thinking how fat or disgusting you are than your world will make it so. If in your mind you are thinking how thin and beautiful you are than your world will make that become so (Love Thy Self!). Rather than placing the focus on pain and fear, perhaps we could focus on love and peace. Our inner voice and outer labels prepare us to live in those beliefs. I used to think this theory was just too simple and now realize simplicity is the answer. We don’t have to struggle with this demon inside of us. We can simply let it go and turn to our inner strength.

Some of this lesson is eloquently expressed in the OA meetings or the 12 step programs. I have spent many years in Alanon when I was trying to "fix" my former spouse who was an active alcoholic. I learned a great deal during those years. I learned that I was responsible for my own actions and myself. I learned I did not cause his illness. I learned I could not control his illness. Lastly, I learned I could not cure his illness. At that time I was sporting almost an additional 100 pounds on my 5 foot 6 inch frame. It never occurred to me the lessons could be applied to myself. It never occurred to me that I was a foodaholic; I was merely focused on the alcoholic in my way. I was responsible for the cause of my own illness. I was responsible to control my own illness. I was responsible to cure my own illness. When I turned the attention towards myself a whole new inner world opened up. I am happy to report I learned to focus on my own self in my inner world. I am sad to report that almost 15 years later the former spouse is still imbibing and blaming the outer world.

The one part of the 12-step program, in reference to the over eater, that I part ways from, is the thought the foodaholic can never have sugar or white flour again. I believe it can be reintroduced in a different way. I find that psychologically if we are told we cannot have something we obsess and want it even more. If these foods are worked in on occasion in moderation a person can rid himself or herself of such a painful addiction. The mind has a choice to eat sugar/ white flour or not to. The mind has the power to free itself of the guilt and punishment that often comes with eating out of control. The mind has the power to let go of the fear. The mind has the power to trust its inner voice; it’s higher self.

The key to resolving the eating issues are to make each meal whole and healthy as well as something you enjoy eating (Weight Loss By The Sea!). When we eat balanced our mind becomes balanced and the cravings begin to disappear. When you choose to eat the sugar or white flour on a particular day it is a conscientious choice. Perhaps this New Year you can turn a new corner and cease scrambling for an answer to your addiction or problem. You have the power within you to change your mind and your relationship with food and your body. Don’t let every year come and go only to start the whole process all over again. There is truth n the saying, "what ye think so ye shall be; change your mind…change your life!

*Be sure to look for more thoughts in February…