A patient with severe brain damage said the most profound thing I’d ever heard the other day. She said, “When I was little I skipped school all the time pretending to be sick. And now, as an adult I pretend to be well.” I was in awe of such honesty. Are you honest with who you are and what you are doing with your life?
Often we are busy pretending to be someone we are not. If you don’t believe it take a look at Facebook, glance at all those smiling faces. Are they as smiley as they appear? Maybe yes and maybe no. Too often on social media the best side is posted not the real, every day self.
The other day on Twitter one of my followers requested of his “tribe” to post authentic selfies so he could sift through the pile and pick a few he wanted to sketch. I don’t know what possessed me but I posted one that I had absolutely no makeup on. This is certainly NOT something I would normally do. I guess I was having an honest moment.
Now this is not to say I’m all made up 24/7 as I’m certainly not. In fact, on Friday evening when I get home from work I pull my hair up and scrub my face clean—free of all traces of makeup until Tuesday when I return to work. I don’t put a stitch of anything on with the exception of lipstick, not even for Sunday mass. The only time would be if I had somewhere I had to go and needed to get “made up.
So, what does this say about most of us? Most of us put our best face forward, just in case. Just in case of what? Who or whom are we trying to impress? Now putting on your face, or if you are a dude, putting on your best attire is fine, IF you are doing it for you and it feels good—but if you are putting the best face forward for your “followers” to see perhaps not so good.
This is not to say we should skip showers, and all basic grooming for days on end because that certainly is not where my mind is wandering. But rather it’s about being your true authentic self and loving who you are from exactly where you’re at.
Most of my patients are over weight or under weight and often say, “ I’ll be happy when I reach my right weight.” Really? I’m not so sure about that. We reach our happy when we are grateful for where we are in the now. It’s not about tomorrow or yesterday, last year when you were a size 4 or in a few months when you get to size ?.
Than answer is to embrace where you are right now. Yep, right now. I know, I know, your’re saying but I’m not….? Fill in the blank. You will say something else when you are ?. There is no place you have to get to to find happy. Settle into where you are in this moment and you will begin to live your authentic life now.
I was so proud of my patient when she blurted out that she was faking sick when she was a kid and now faking well as an adult. I so get it. And you do too I’m sure. But perhaps we’re not as brave as she to embrace her truth. WE can learn a thing or two from this wonderful, delightful patient who is 65 and presents like 15 from years of trauma yet she gets it. Somehow she gets it.
Thank you for being a part of the reading forum of this blog. YOU are important to me. If you have something you’d like to say I’d love to hear it. YOU are important and your words need to be heard. If there was something you think I should have added I’m here and I want to hear what you have to say…
Stay tuned….you never know where my mind will wander….
Hugs to you…I care!
Speaker, writer, licensed clinical psychotherapist, PhD in addiction psychology, eating disorder professional, hypnotherapist changing the view about compulsive eating one addict at a time.